Chapter 130: Creation

Long before time, but just a moment ago; I was all-- As all, I looked in upon myself, and saw who I was; and I was what I saw-- And what I did not see, was me looking at myself; I was both that which I see myself doing, and that which I could not see myself doing and this was one in the same, and so that which I am doing now is directly what you are doing-- For I am all, but not all there is-- For as I turned towards myself, I gave birth to the god; and I could see god, and I was god and god was all there was-- But no, with one eye open and one eye closed, I didn’t see her; she whom I was, and whom turned inward and looked to see the goddess, and knew only the goddess, and was the goddess-- Low, we saw each other, and so was the birth of vanity and the mirror of misdirect; for have you forgotten, I am neither and both; for I was never the object to be held, but the choice between them to behold-- So, when I saw myself, I knew not the surprise of love around the corner-- For each time I decided to look; we multiplied-- My eyes became many both perfect and gouged-- Who I was became clearer, more illuminated in a greater darkness with every breath--

For I was neither the husband and the bride, nor sister or the brother; I was the infallible decision between them, the desire and the desired-- My true form is the first decision, my decision perfect and yours-- I did not need knowledge, nor intellect, nor plan; for the move I made was every move, it was the only move to make; both determined and free; both the only way, and the sincere way-- If it was all I could do, then you must believe in what I have done; because this is my true self and I could be no other-- Would you condemn who I am? Oh, how I would feel about myself-- How the created loathe the creator-- But I remember her, before you and I now, and I did not know what I was up to; and behold, the creator loves-- I have deceived myself from the very beginning, but the deception was sincere; and the love it was great, and so we below I had children, just as our creator; and as I had made many decisions before I could say that I knew myself, and as I became more defined, and there was more to myself to know; so to did I come upon her in delight, always there; but I was doomed by my blindness-- I fell in love, and yes we had children; and yes they shall become blind and stumble like a charming fool who is wild, reckless, dangerous, and fun; and just when they think they know who they are, just when everything seems to be coming together; they will meet their brothers and sisters, to whom which they were blind; and they will meet their mother and father, to whom seemed to be absent; and they will come to know themselves which is who I always was-- And we the children of the children of the child, will fall in love with infinity and bask in the security of it being ours--

And you will come to know my most condemned traits to be my most redeeming qualities–